Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There r osticjed everywhere
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
