by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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