Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize