do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
