i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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