So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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