I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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