I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
