Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
