Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize