You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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