...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
