If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
