I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
