Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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