Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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