You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
