so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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