I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
