I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
