Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
