Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
