mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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