Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
