Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So many bounce houses so little time
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
