I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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