if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
