plz talk dirty to me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
