Pappa wants mamma naked
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Randomize
