So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
