If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
