so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
