wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
