dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize