To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
