around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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