Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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