But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
