when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize