so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
