Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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