I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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