In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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