considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
