Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
