And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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