isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
