and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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