is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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