And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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