I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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