Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
