that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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