Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
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the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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