we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
