i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
