come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
