Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
