I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
