I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
