I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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