Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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