You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
