needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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