btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
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He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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