Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
