If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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